The church I've been trying to attend has their services uploaded online. So, I've been watching them online if I can't make it out to a service. In one of the sermons that I didn't make it to the head pastor mentioned how Jesus is going to be when he returns, said he'll have tattoos on his quads, in reference to the names written on his thighs in Revelation, describing this fierce apex warrior type character who's defeated all the forces of evil, returning to set things straight again.

    When that image hit when I heard that description of Jesus, I was like, no wonder He got crucified; The types of dudes on top of the NPD dog-eat-dog MLM pyramid scheme scam dragnets of the world with their fear-driven micromanaging witchcraft and perception manipulation and deception because of their own dereliction and cowardice always gang up together like the pharisees against the tellers of inconvenient truths and it's truly thoroughly demonic every time they do. But, "It is finished."; He won his fight. He won the war. And my hope is in that he did it, first of all, and learning from him about how he did it.

    Our whole lives are lived in that prayer fast in preparation through temptation time in the desert that Jesus went through when the devil kept coming to him with a new attempt to tempt him to sin in order to disqualify him from the service he was entering into...

    A couple years ago, after slowly beginning to inch out of my state of utter shell shock right after my divorce, I had this, I guess, waking vision, or mental scene/memory and emotion in my mind and body, while in prayer, of God reminding me of the way I felt when I was a kid growing up in the Episcopalian church during the "Satan Scare" era, when everyone was teaching 'The rapture is coming; Turn or burn.' messages to scare people into repentance. He reminded me of how much the idea of being the victim of a beheading as a martyr for my faith terrified me when I was a kid, and how I immediately became fixated on wildlife, plants and animals, fishing, making shelters, things of that nature, so I could figure out how to have a plan to evade capture in the end times. 

    I always felt alone, and like I was going to have to evade everything and everyone for some reason or another, completely solo. I've always felt like this, but during this time when God was trying to show me some things about why I do the things I do the way I do them, God led me to imagine a scenario where evasion would no longer be an option, and so I would have to either confess the truth and be martyred or lie and deny Him and be denied by Him, and for the first time in our nation's history a public figure got capped out specifically for this precise thing, as a martyr for the faith. I've now seen it happen. But I've also experienced what it's like to have God's hand of spiritual protection removed from me thereby causing me to become completely vulnerable to every demonic attack that came my way because of my own reprobate state, and I now know I need to never be in that state again because of that experience; To be martyred would be better than to be denied and left by Christ. I've experienced the difference, and I know that it's true. Also, more and worse, and more crafty and deceptive demonic entities do come and embed if you do not repent of the things that caused the first state of oppression, which is, the legal presence in the sense that you give your permission for them to trespass on God's property, as steward of that property, by willful association with those entities, by entertaining their ungodly suggestions. The Bible says, "Resist the devil and he will flee.", James 4:7, which means, if you're not resisting, he's not fleeing. You're not putting up a fight, or challenging this invader's incursion whatsoever, so he's very easily and seamlessly embedding and assimilating and camouflaging and adding layers onto his alias and weaving his agenda into the tapestry and backdrop and entire system of your entire life because you're putting up no resistance, rather, getting into it and down to clown like you were born to drown.

    I'm thinking about all this now with how it relates to us hobbits working out our own salvation, on an individual basis, with fear and trembling between God and us each individually, with this backdrop of globally and eternally historically important events unfolding currently... and this suddenly reminded me that I wanted to take another look at this Armageddon/Megiddo site thing... Megiddo etymologically comes from a phrase that translates to 'place of cutting' as in, an surgical incursion, or a surgical military strike, which, the latter is more like the way that it is used in the context in which the term continues to be used biblically and what all it most consistently continues to denote. So, I looked up the original incursion/surgical strike incursion site known as Mount Hermon, where the self-idolatrous, narcissistic traitor heavenly host/angelic beings which started the war in heaven, which resulted in 1/3 of the heavenly hosts, the ones who sided with them in this war of self-idolatry and narcissism, to be cast out of heaven originally came down from in order to attempt to start inserting themselves as rulers over earth and its inhabitants. When I looked a the story again, I saw something different, something new, in that this was something I hadn't yet noticed before.

    I noticed that this was also the place of "pieces" or "cutting into pieces", Mount Hermon was, as this was where God first approached Abraham in the wilderness after he had left his pagan family of origin behind to seek the one true God in the wilderness, and went up into this region to basically just go be a wild mountain man who prayed, raised sheep, and sought the Lord, like a literal OG pastor was supposed to do, defending his flock against any and all incursions and attacks. That's when I kinda realized, this is coming full circle. God said that "the woman" in Revelation, which is consistently the symbol for The Church, unless explicitly stated that a specific other kind of woman, ie: the whore of Babylon, is being described here, but, specifically referring to just the woman, the Church, Revelation says that God will prepare a place for her in the wilderness. Mount Hermon is where God had Abraham prepare specific animals for sacrifices and then he divided them in half on this spot to signify the forging of this covenant, this leaving and cleaving, this cutting off of one's self from the body of sin, to be delivered into the new covenant by which all of these wages of sin totaling out to death for us could be settled up by this new covenant because of Abraham's reestablishing this wild shoot of faith in God cleaved out of the land of idol worship and set free to go out into the wilderness to follow and worship the one true God in spirit and in truth.

    ...And I mention "hobbits" working out their own salvation with fear and trembling because of that very thing I started off mentioning, which is, that we're all pretty much living our entire lives in that temptation in the desert scenario, because we still dwell in this flesh body, in this carnal world, with all of this incursion stuff going on all around us, Shelob, Ring Wraiths, Smeagol, Orcs, nosy, judgmental neighbors, delinquent friends who steal our neighbor's garden vegetables but in the end, this Strider guy rides up to the gates of Hell and says, "Let the Lord of the Black Lands come forth that justice may be done upon him.", and at the end of that entire battle, Mount Doom explodes and is destroyed along with the Black Gate and The Tower and Sauron with it, and Tolkein was the languages guy of that clique; He'd be into all that and giving us visuals to better understand it all.

I was born and raised in The West. If it weren't for The Apostle Paul complying with Christ's commands after he fell off of his horse when Christ appeared to him on the road to Damascus, I would not have been saved. It's because of this one guy's repentance and compliance to God that I have the truth of the Gospel available to me.

  'The Man in White' appearing in the dreams of tons of people all over the Middle East right now is hooking people up with undercover Christian missionaries in position by God in The Middle East to tell them more about The Man in White. I feel like it would be super interesting to do interviews and a documentary and even a movie based on these dreams and introductions being set up to provide for people the information and support that they need in order to come to Christ. I hadn't thought of this story in years but, hearing about these people's dreams and the missionaries reminded me of Debbie Ayers' story from when she was shot in the head during the Albanian unrest in the nineties, when she was a missionary along with her husband and their whole family, and some guy in street clothes led their family to a hole in the city wall that they were able to go through and get to the hospital in time to save Debbie's life instead of going for hours to get around the wall. According to the Ayers kids and both parents, the guy vanished after he showed them the hole in the wall, but the next day or so that hole in that spot did not exist, and it all looked like old construction as though it hadn't been repaired either. 

  I feel a lot of respect for this family. I always have. I've personally experienced God doing stuff like that for me. I want to be around people who are in this place in their faith walk with God where this sort of stuff happens in their life. This is the kind of fellowship I want to keep. Where God leads I want to follow and I do not want anything to ever stop me.

True or False: The Solution to Bad Ideas is No Ideas?

- True or False: The Internet Troll Who Purportedly Incited Riots with Their Ideas Spouted Online is The Cause of Those Riots, Not the Actual Rioters.

- True or False: If the Troll Wasn't the Cause of The Riots, Was It Instead Their Ideas, or Perhaps the Computer They Used to Share Them, or Internet Connection, or Host Website That the Ideas were Posted On, That Caused the Riot?

- If the Solution to Bad Ideas Is Not No Ideas, What Is It?

I Suggest that the most useful solutions are likely to be found somewhere other than spinning ones tires in the same warn out old spots.

Driving up to the Smokies, as a kid growing up at sea level in Miami-Dade County, Florida, had a strong impact on me. I saw deer, bucks with huge racks and does with calves for the first time. They were in the Everglades, where we'd go a few times a year on camping trips, but they never came out. Gators came out more than deer did. So, we would be driving in between two sections of mountain that this level stretch of road had been inserted in-between and I'd be looking up on either side of the car at incline, and just looking for wild animals as we drove through this wilderness area that was way different than any of the areas we'd frequently go to when I was a kid, and I was just hoping to see something I'd never seen in person before, and occasionally I would, and when I did, I knew, I wanna see what's out there.

    I feel like somebody recently misunderstood my intentions to encourage them to try to apply themselves more and do more, because they can, as me hitting on them. I confided in someone about this recently, more or less to get feedback on whether or not they thought that I was being confusing to the aforementioned individual, and they said that they did not think that I was being confusing or misleading, but rather that it was quite obvious that I am a "very independent person". In other words, I go and do what I think is right to go and do. I feel like the person giving this feedback is right in the sense that, that's what I tend to do, but until the point that I'm like, okay, feel free to go off and play bumper cars without the bumpers by the ditch all you want; I'm done trying to convince you to not flip your shit.

    I feel like I do moronic shit sometimes, like trying to offer my hand to help someone who doesn't lift a finger to help themselves up. I feel like I walk right into this senselessly often times. However, I also feel like I've learned to back out of these types of situations once I recognize them for what they are much more quickly than I used to, yet I haven't learned to exercise caution in even going into these types of scenarios and probing and assessing before I drive forward into them. I'm thinking a lot about this dynamic because, we all work out our own salvation, between us and The Lord, with fear and trembling. That is a private affair and a partnered endeavor between us and The Lord only, though there are test environments and activities that pertain to and have an effect on this endeavor and the end product rendered with and through it, that involve other people, but, you know, I'm finding myself sitting on the couch here in this little studio that's a little bigger than the one in Miami Beach, I have a little living room area in here where I listen to a sermons, and while I'm doing that I find myself needing to pause the sermon to reflect on exactly this specific thing, the process and the rearranging and replacement of certain components, because something the preacher has said has done some fine tuning on just one of the tiny little aspects that calibrate all of the parts, concentrically and synergistically, of the whole system that supports all of the processes that make up that endeavor to work out my own salvation between The Lord and myself with fear and trembling.

    I have a lot to sort out. I appreciate this now, this knowing the point of origin, the start point and recognizing and accepting reality for what it is. We're here today and gone forever someday, that is, as who and what we are now, though I believe that we go somewhere and remain somewhere as something, though I can't really imagine what being that specific type of something is really going to be like... I heard in the break room, at work, yesterday, as someone read off one of the headlines on newsfeeds on their phone, that my personal childhood hero, Jane Goodall, had died. I'd thought that eventually I'd save up to go to Gambe and hopefully meet her, maybe volunteer my time to work on a project with Roots and Shoots, but... You know, life goes on, I guess and so do we all, and that's the story of you, some day. She was a wall breaker, a breacher among woman kind, and I never got to meet her, but I'll miss her.

    I feel like I don't know if I'll ever be able to pin-point and verbalize exactly why it is that I will never be able to trust certain people, just their intentions, and then concentrically outwardly everything about their operations and actions and words and everything connected to all of these really, and that my love towards them will only ever be able to be that kind of love which C.S. Lewis described as being charity, and it is, in the sense that, I give to them what I can afford to give to them because they truly need it and because it might never come to them in a true, non-parasitic, non-symbiotic, non-abusive, non-exploitative way if not for this charity given to them from me, and that is all that it is, and I'm only doing this because this is exactly what Christ did for me while I was in the same state that they're in, yet still a sinner, in such a clouded, contorted, malformed, malnourished, mislead, intoxicated state of deception, delusion, and enmity to Him and His ways and His people, thinking of His people and He Himself, at best, as being merely the equivalent of a vending machine which ought to dispense whatever they think it ought to dispense for them, whenever they think that this vending machine ought to dispense that thing to them, that object of fixation, that idol, that thing which so easily besets and distorts our perception of not only reality and situational awareness, but of ourselves and our own intentions, even as they're coming up as operations in processes.

    I don't know why but there are so many things and types of interactions between myself and other people, that cause me to shut down which just throw un-navigable, way too cumbersome lag on my ability to process, that I just shut down. It just feels like I've reached this chasm between me and all the rest of the world that's out there, which I do in fact want to see and experience, but I just can't get past whatever this thing is any other way than by faith in God and God's provision and protection. Because, I just don't have the coding necessary to build a bridge or a boat to get past this gaping body of void to the other side of it into the rest of everything that's out there. I feel like I'm missing something that everyone else got, but I also feel like God can grow the tiny seed of faith in Him that's within me into a giant Yggdrassil-like tree that can stretch across the expanse of that void and bridge the distance. This is why my focus remains not on the bread crumbs from the hand of man, and the perception altering effects of these, but rather it remains on the words that proceed from the mouth of God, because, I need a real solution, not another ad campaign that functions as the currency inserted into the vending machine that I'm intended by the inserter to play the role of in their production in which they get the thing that they want from me by inserting the currency into the object which they take me for in this equation. I am a person, not a thing, and if God is the only other person who will ever authentically care to know me for precisely the person who I authentically am, that is more than enough for me.

    I've walked some rough roads, and I've been gaslit about all of those experiences, but then had it all clarified by The Word of God over and over again as many times as agents of intentional deception gaslit me about those experiences. God knows me, and as He's revealing to me that He's known me all along, and reminding me of what precisely He knows to be the truth about me, thereby dispelling all intoxication, incarceration, and restraints the devil, the father of all lies, and their agents of deception, whether fully knowingly or not, attempt over and over again to put me under and in, I have these encounters with deceived deceivers who try continuously to deceive everyone around them as much as they themselves are deceived, in order to arrange what they want to be their stage production exactly as they want it to be, completely ignoring that there is such a thing as the will of God and His divine meaning and purpose. Through these trials and snares I walk with God, shoulder-to-shoulder with heavenly hosts of which His army which encompasses me is made up, one, just one individual troop thereof walked into a city of several thousand about 4,000 years ago give or take and utterly destroyed all of its inhabitants. You can tell a lot about a person's intentions for  interacting with and communicating certain things to you in certain ways in attempts to influence your states, perceptions, ideas, and decisions in very particular ways, especially when these types of incursions consistently take place immediately after you make declarations about your faith and what it has done for you as armor against precisely what they are attempting to do to you. 

    A lot of truth is encoded in the way that they immediately ridicule that specific type of faith over and over again immediately after you make factual statements about how it has aided you in your defense against precisely the types of incursion attempts and self-perception distortion attempts they assail you with over and over again, just like The Devil who made the erroneous claim by slipped-in premise, that we, the image bearers of God weren't already more like God than we've ever been since, when he falsely claimed that we could become like God when we did precisely the thing that God warned us not to do. A person's reasons for attempting to separate you from your specific faith specifically for their hatred of what it has been able to do for you consistently aiding you in withstanding their attempts of incursions against you, are totally telling on them every time, and they will never be able to resist the urge to ridicule that which they can never defeat because it is authentic, true, effective, potent, and reliable, while all they can do is claim to be able to do that which they can only hope and scheme to be able to leach off from you with their lies. ..."As within, so without..." explains a lot, but only really as it relates to their intentions, when you deal with these "white-washed tombs" as Jesus called them, as often as I do; They consistently create and recreate over and over again recycled cycles of regenerative Hell on Earth, when all that hate-filled, fear and spite-motivated necrotic trash that's within really needs to be brought to the cross and crucified with Christ so that it's no longer that infantile creature lashing out against The Saints in jealous spite, that lives by and for mindless revenge for trauma, but rather Christ who lives, with and through, walking with them through and with it all. Everything that they do up until this die-to-self and be born again moment is just them trying to be the director in their play still, trying to assign villain roles to the Christians, the Americans, the Ukrainians, the Russians, the Government, The Cartel, the this, the that, all the associations that are mere mortals while the individual humans are immortal souls which we are to go after and rescue as the lost 100th sheep that Christ rescued us when we were in the same exact state.

    "Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word which proceeds from the mouth of God.", this is what Jesus told the devil when they offered Him bread to break his prayer fast in the desert as He was preparing to begin His mission on Earth. My life-long faith test has been precisely this: Can I let go of the breadcrumbs offered by man and follow after Christ, walking on water through every storm, by faith, no matter what, knowing that He will provide for all of my needs in accordance with His riches and glory? I have been so tested in this one thing, and I really needed it. It has been so hard, but, I know, Romans 8: 28, "All things work out for the good of those who love The Lord and who are called according to His purposes." I've seen the Everglades, I've seen some deer in the Smokies. But there are so many things out there that God has made and called good that I have yet to see and experience, and I am trusting on Him alone to work in my life precisely as He intends to, without allowing the interference of man, to bring these into my life precisely how He intends to. I don't have a religion; I have a leader, and where He leads, I will follow.